Our Depravity PART II

If you didn't read Part I, do so now.

Our Depravity PART I

As I stare out the window listening to the little grip scream, I faintly hear another voice. I listen more carefully. Sure enough it's Grandma calling for the little girl. Old people are harder to understand. They don't usually speak the most standard language. BUT I am sure she was telling the little girl to stop screaming and come towards her.

The little girl is finally tired from screaming and crying and looks like she is about to give up. In the moments that she is quiet, she hears her grandmother's voice. She quickly turns towards the voice. You can tell she is trying to find her with her eyes, but having no luck. The little girl calls out softly, partly panicked and partly relieved.

Grandma finally comes into view. But the little girl doesn't run to her. She doesn't scream or cry out in relief. She doesn't jump up and down with joy. She stands still and waits until Grandma has come up right in front of her. Grandma wipes her tears and fixes her jacket and backpack. But little girl seems completely uninterested in Grandma. She seems to be ignoring Grandma. Grandma starts to try to lead her away, but little girl lingers and drags her feet. Her attitude is the opposite of what it seemed to be before: desperation to indifference.

Is that what I do? Is that who I am? Is that how I respond? Yes. Sometimes. I panic. I cry out for deliverance. I search and search and search. I see Him. I'm indifferent because He's back in sight and I'm not desperate anymore. I don't die with joy and excitement because of His return. And when He tried to lead me, I don't want to go. When I don't have Him right next to me, I freak. When He's right next to me, I give Him the cold shoulder at times.

This is me sometimes. Not all the time. But I think this is us sometimes.