The end result is usually good. Right? Like after a good, hard workout, I feel rejuvenated and healthy. Or that clean feeling after a shower or brushing your teeth. Or a sigh of relief after tidying up my room. Finishing something, even in the smallest degree, usually gives me a good feeling. But getting to that end point can be messy or uncomfortable sometimes. Maybe not when cleaning my room, but in reference God refining me. And I'm in a season of refining. When it starts, it mostly catches me by surprise. But then I acknowledge the upcoming changes and welcome the cleansing and changes that God wants to make. But the refining exhausts me and isn't always pleasant. And I know and trust that the changes will be good in the end. They are supposed to grow me in my Christ-likeness. But it's hard to see the end to this time of refinement. I want to be at the end. I feel like I'm at the love-hate moment. When I love it because I know the end is good. But I hate it because it's messy and unpleasant. But as I get closer to the end, it will get better.
But thinking about what God tells Jeremiah about refinement, I should expect it to be hard. Refining involves going through fire. Burning out impurities. Which is exactly what my soul is going through.
Okay, well, that is my mind garble.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
a heavy heart
This week in class we are doing some discussion questions. The students bring in topics and I choose a couple for us to talk about.
The hot topic was the earthquake in Japan. Which I figured would be a buzzin subject. However, my heart fell when I read how some of the questions were asked; Do you think Japan deserved the earthquake? Do you think it is right for people to think Japan deserved the earthquake? I know the people of this country don't typically like Japan because of their sour past, but my heart was crushed and I just wanted to cry. Students gasped when I read off some of the questions. And then I was quickly annoyed by their false innocence. I have previously had conversations with some students about Japan. And most of them have said, "We hate Japan because of what they did to us." But it seems so unreasonable. And when I joined in some discussions, I heard things like, "I don't think the people of Japan deserved it, but the country deserved it." But I was thinking, "The people are the nation! The nation is the people!!!"
On a higher note, I taught some girls how to use air quotes :)
The hot topic was the earthquake in Japan. Which I figured would be a buzzin subject. However, my heart fell when I read how some of the questions were asked; Do you think Japan deserved the earthquake? Do you think it is right for people to think Japan deserved the earthquake? I know the people of this country don't typically like Japan because of their sour past, but my heart was crushed and I just wanted to cry. Students gasped when I read off some of the questions. And then I was quickly annoyed by their false innocence. I have previously had conversations with some students about Japan. And most of them have said, "We hate Japan because of what they did to us." But it seems so unreasonable. And when I joined in some discussions, I heard things like, "I don't think the people of Japan deserved it, but the country deserved it." But I was thinking, "The people are the nation! The nation is the people!!!"
It just made me sad.
On a higher note, I taught some girls how to use air quotes :)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Food, Friends and Fun
My tutor and friend, Dawn, finally returned to the city. I was REALLY excited to hang out with her. I really love her. I prayed for a close and good national friend and she is just what I hoped for.
Anyways, she came over with another friend, Michelle. I have hung out with Michelle before and really like her. A new girl came along too, Fun. So, we cooked some wonderful food. Preparation and cooking was full of talking and good conversation. We ate and had a conversations full of laughter. Then, because Fun was the last one to be full she had to wash the dishes. So, I showed my photos of Korea to Dawn and Michelle. They loved them! I loved talking about my friends and telling them stories about each photo. Then I told them we should do some Korean face masks some time. They loved the idea.
I also taught them how to play Peanut Butter and Jelly (aka Kemps). They really loved it! It was great fun watching them play and try to be sneaky. These girls are just a little to giggly and smiley to be sneaky. But my partner and I lost. And with any game in this blessed country, there is a punishment. Ours was eating a packet of powder/mix to flavor your water. It didn't taste bad at first, but as it began to dissolve it got worse! After a little water, it wasn't too bad. Dawn made a really big deal about it though. But afterwards, it was really cute, she came and whispered in my ear, "It wasn't really that bad. I just wanted to scare them." How cute is she!
Anyways, I was really blessed by that time with them and their friendship. I keep praying for them. I'm still going to study with Dawn. Even though Michelle doesn't care much about spiritual things, she'll still hear it from Dawn. And Fun has done the study I'm doing with Dawn. And each week I tell Dawn to share what she has learned with someone. She chooses Fun. So, Father is really at work with all three of them.
Anyways, she came over with another friend, Michelle. I have hung out with Michelle before and really like her. A new girl came along too, Fun. So, we cooked some wonderful food. Preparation and cooking was full of talking and good conversation. We ate and had a conversations full of laughter. Then, because Fun was the last one to be full she had to wash the dishes. So, I showed my photos of Korea to Dawn and Michelle. They loved them! I loved talking about my friends and telling them stories about each photo. Then I told them we should do some Korean face masks some time. They loved the idea.
I also taught them how to play Peanut Butter and Jelly (aka Kemps). They really loved it! It was great fun watching them play and try to be sneaky. These girls are just a little to giggly and smiley to be sneaky. But my partner and I lost. And with any game in this blessed country, there is a punishment. Ours was eating a packet of powder/mix to flavor your water. It didn't taste bad at first, but as it began to dissolve it got worse! After a little water, it wasn't too bad. Dawn made a really big deal about it though. But afterwards, it was really cute, she came and whispered in my ear, "It wasn't really that bad. I just wanted to scare them." How cute is she!
Anyways, I was really blessed by that time with them and their friendship. I keep praying for them. I'm still going to study with Dawn. Even though Michelle doesn't care much about spiritual things, she'll still hear it from Dawn. And Fun has done the study I'm doing with Dawn. And each week I tell Dawn to share what she has learned with someone. She chooses Fun. So, Father is really at work with all three of them.
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