Brea

Our meeting started as usual. We got right to work. Or I did. This is our thing: I make some baked good. She videos me and asks questions. Then we wait. I make coffee. And we eat the baked good. Then it gets to the good stuff. We talk about God, Christianity, beliefs, philosophy, boys, life, friends, etc.

This Saturday wasn’t any different. Or at first glance, anyway. We, as in I, made the cheesecake and since I was out of coffee beans, she brought coffee for us. 

Then the conversation began. But let's back up. June 2014 she had told me she had made a decision to become a follower of Baha’i. I have to admit, I don’t know the ins and outs of Baha’i, but what I do know doesn’t make sense. Since June, I was under the impression that things were pretty set in stone and I wasn’t sure how much I was going to invest in her. But a recent discussion in my Bible class made her feel insecure about our friendship. A student had asked me what I thought about Baha’i. I made sure to preface what I said with, “This is just my opinion.” I went on to say how ridiculous it all seems. Baha’i says all beliefs lead to the same god. How can one, two or even three different beliefs being saying the same thing? A lot of belief are based on works; doing good things, being a good person. But Christianity’s base is in faith. It’s not what we do, but what Jesus has done for us. He’s sacrificed his perfect body, mind and soul for us. We deserve punishment and banishment from God, but he took that for us. We are therefore exempt. 

As we began to talk, she revealed she was still searching. She feels lost and frustrated. She doesn’t want to be in the middle. She wants to make a choice. But she wants to make the right choice.

Heaven and Hell.

Christianity is clear. Those who believe in Jesus and follow Him are going to be with Him forever in Heaven. Those who don’t are going to a Lake of Fire, aka. Hell.

Baha’i has a more fluid belief about eternity. There is no hell. The more developed your virtues (honesty, kindness, etc.) are the closer you are to God. The less developed your virtues are the further away from God you are. The more developed you are, the more complete your spiritual body will be. I posed the question, “So, there is no punishment for people?” Her response was, “Being far from God is a punishment. It’s like Hell.”
Me - “But people that don’t care about God and virtues, don’t care if they are close or far from God. So, there is or isn't a Hell?”
Brea - “It’s like Hell, but God is sad if the people are not close to him.”
Me - “But if the people don’t care, it doesn’t matter if they are close or far away from God.”
Brea - "But it will make God sad."
Me - "But they don't care if God is sad."

Virtues/Good Works vs. Faith in Jesus and what He has done

Of course we had to hit this topic. She insisted that developing kindness and honesty and other good character qualities was not self-centered. She said developing those virtues was actually focused on God. I told her it sounded like Baha’i was centered on self-development.

But Christianity was centered on what Jesus had done for people. His sacrifice compels people to show him honor, praise and please Him. But ultimately, what we do is “filthy rags” to Him.

She reiterated that the development of virtues is about God. I asked how.
Brea - “Because we want to become better people. So, then we can deserve God.”
Me - “See that is a huge difference in Christianity. We deserve death because of our sin. Baha’i doesn’t say anything about being enemies with God. It doesn’t say that people have disobeyed Him. We don't deserve to live. We deserve death. But God is gracious. He erases our sin, if we believe in Jesus’ sacrifice for us.”

Different messengers with one message from one god

Baha’i says that different “deities” or religious leaders (Muhammed, Jesus, Buddha, etc.) have the same message to share and are different messengers sent for one god. I started with the statement that all those different leaders had different messages. Muhammad said you had to follow the pillars of faith. Hinduism says try and try again until you reach the highest level of enlightenment. Jesus says I love you and I want to take your punishment for you so that you can live. None of those are the same message.

Brea - “But the essence is the same.”
Me - “What essence? They all have a message, but all their messages are different. They can’t all be real or true.”
Brea - “God is the essence of all those messengers.”
Me - “Then why does the message change? In Christianity, God is the same. God is constant. He is faithful. He is loyal. He doesn’t change. People do. He sent many messengers, prophets. They all said the same thing. The Bible is consistent. But different religions have different messages. That's why they aren’t the same.”

Venus, Mars, Jupiter…

Venus is one of my former students. We spent gobs and gobs of time together when I was her teacher. She was currently obsessed with a male upperclassman at that time. After she moved on to her junior year, we still meet monthly. But Kevin, a female sophomore at that time, would join us. Finally, about Christmas time, she wanted to have a serious conversation. We met and she told me about how Kevin wanted to be more than just friends. I wasn’t shocked, but saddened. 

Venus’ reasons for entering into a homosexual relationship:

• Kevin was really kind.
• They were really comfortable together.
• They knew each other for a long time.
• It would be like a normal relationship.
• She is like a man.
• She just wanted to try it.
• She eventually would get married to a man.
• She wanted to have a baby and her parents expected her to get married and have a kid.
• She was still attracted to men, but just wanted to see what a homosexual relationship was like and didn’t see what the harm was.

My reasons for NOT entering into a homosexual relationship:

• God created man and woman for each other.
• It was unnatural. There was no way for them to have babies.
• No matter how much Kevin acted like a man, talked like a man, dressed like a man, SHE was a SHE.
• Men and women are meant to balance each other out.
• It wasn’t going to go beyond college.
• If it did go beyond college, gay marriage is NOT accepted in China, what then?
• If it wasn’t going to go beyond college, why even engage in it?
• It was going to have repercussions in her future.
• What would her future husband think?
• People were going to judge her for being so flippant about her sexuality.
• What were her parents going to think?

After several dinner dates and conversations, going over the same things, she decided to go for it. Going into her senior year and Kevin’s junior year, they were still together and we still had dinner or coffee monthly. They even met my mom when she came to visit in October 2013. We have celebrated birthday together this year. But several times over the year, Venus and I meet separately to talk about the problems she and Kevin were having.

Present Day: We just met this week for coffee. She said she wanted to have some girl talk. I knew that meant Kevin Talk. I braced myself and prayed constantly the day before we met until we met.

Several weeks before she had travelled to a university in another province for an interview for grad school. She got in and was really excited about it. BUT she didn’t know what to do about Kevin. 

Questions I posed for her:

• Did you want to have a long-distance relationship?
• No. We have been having so many problems and I am tired of trying and being more mature than her.
• So, how will you break up with her?
• I don’t know. Some of my friends suggested I just slowly push her away. Just say I don’t have time, I have too much homework or something when I go to grad school.
• Why wouldn’t you do it sooner?
• I don’t want to be so cruel. I think it is terrible if I just tell her I don’t want to be with her anymore. And if I break up now, I will just feel sad and lonely and get back together.
• Don’t you think it’s selfish to stay together? You don’t love her, if you really loved her, you would let her go and move on.
• You are right. I don’t love her. And I will get married someday. To a man.
• Why would you want to stay friends after you break up?
• It seems so cruel to not communicate after being together so long. We can still be friends.

Whole30 rocked my world...

Oh yes. I have followed the trend. If you don't even know what Whole30 is, just goes to show how much cooler I am than you ;) 

But seriously, I don't want to be dramatic. However, Whole30 has kind of changed my life. I'll first tell you the Purpose...

It's like the healthiest, most intense detox of your life!!! It's meant to boost your energy levels, give you more regular bowels, up your metabolism, boost your immune system, eliminate certain conditions or aches. The food we eat has more of an effect on us than we know or can to admit. Stripping certain foods from your diet for 30 days can have wonderful health and psychological benefits.

The Rules...

• No sugar of any kind: raw, organic, artificial, etc.
• No dairy: no raw milk, goat milk, soy milk, cheese, butter, yogurt, etc.
• No legumes: no beans of any kind, black, kidney, white, pinto, lima, peanuts, etc.
• No alcohol or tobacco.
• No grains: wheat, barley, oat, corn, rice, etc. This also includes quinoa and couscous, the pseudo-grains.
• No white, red, purple or gold potatoes. In any form.
• No carrageenan, MSG or sulfites. It's really important to check the labels of things you are buying or going to cook with.
• No paleo-ifying baked goods, desserts or snacks. You are trying to break those habits of snacking unnecessarily and eating "junk food." For the next 30 days, don't try to replicate food you miss. Just eat good, real, wholesome food.

My Whole30
I'm going to do my best to put it all into one paragraph. In the beginning, I honestly thought I was going to fall asleep at the wheel. Well, hypothetically. I live in China, so I don't do much driving. Okay, I do NO driving. But if I was behind a wheel, I think I would have fallen asleep during the first week. Depriving my body of sugar was the hardest part. I mean, I didn't gorge myself on it before, but my morning coffee always had sugar and milk. Which leads to my second challenge. COFFEE. I thought I wasn't going to make it! I was sure I was going to give up coffee altogether before the 30 days was up. But other than that I had fun cooking and trying to create new dishes with what seemed limited ingredients and spices.

Okay, I can't do one paragraph. It's going to be more like four. Week Two. I was feeling it!!! They call it Tiger Blood. I was SO energized. I was sleeping better, more fully and deeper. I was guzzling black coffee. My bowels were better than they have ever been. If you know me, I've never had good bowels. I'm almost always constipated and I usually have to drink a special tea to get things going. TMI? Get over it. I was even feeling lighter. And I was past the icky bloated stage, so that was nice too.

Week Three. Not much to say. Things were still going well. I was getting a little frustrating/bored with food. I was having a hard time feeling like I wasn't eating the same thing over and over again. And I was craving sweets and breads more than ever. But I didn't give in!

Week Four Plus 2 days. At first half of the last week, I had this anxious, can't wait to be done feeling. All I wanted to do is eat chocolate and pumpkin bread and banana bread, ANY bread! But I didn't give in or entertain those thoughts too much because I knew I was almost done. The second half was full of ideas and thoughts. How was I going to go on after Whole30? What habits did I want to continue? Was I going to allow sugar again? How can I be healthy about the amount of breads and grains I eat? Why did I EVER taint my coffee with sugar and milk before?! I'm trying to figure it all out.

Cons/Hard Stuff

1. Don't let my optimism fool you. It was tough to stick to. And I did mess up a couple times because I was a little absent-minded. But I'm not a die-hard Whole30ist, so I didn't start over at day 1 when I did.
2. I was super tired the first week-ish.
3. There was one day around day 9 or 10 that I had really bad stomach cramps. Like fetal position style.
4. After a while, it got hard to be creative with food.
5. Living in China, it was tough not having some things that could be easily purchased in America. Like seasonings or sauces other Whole30ists used.
6. At first, cooking/prepping/planning was a hassle!! What a time consumer.
7. I had trouble with breakfast. I'm not a breakfast eater. So, that was tough to do.
8. I also had trouble with the portion sizes. It felt like SOOO MUCH food sometimes.
9. Always having to cook at home. China is a social-eating society.
10. Having to go to the grocery store more often.
11. I missed yogurt a lot!

Pros/Things I've learned

1. I feel like my tastebuds have been enhanced.
2. I have more energy.
3. Better bowels and movements.
4. Sleep has improved. I fall asleep faster and longer and deeper.
5. I lost about 12 lbs/5.5 kg. Arms, legs, tummy overall skinner.
6. For the most part, I've broken my nasty snacking habit. AND if I ABSOLUTELY have to have a snack, I make it a healthy one; fruits, nuts, etc.
7. My close fit better.
8. I feel healthier and lighter.
9. I know I can live without sweets, sugar, breads and other things I thought I couldn't do with out.
10. I LOVE BLACK COFFEE.
11. My mouth salivates when I think about wholesome, all natural, unprocessed food.
12. I don't crave bad foods or junk food.
13. Having a healthier relationship with carbs. And food in general.
14. Enjoying cooking again and getting better at it. Or at least I think so.
15. Connecting with my body. That sounds so "spiritual" and "hippie." But I mean, I know when I'm truly hungry and when I'm not. And making a wise decision accordingly.
16. I have a good sense of how different foods effect my mood, body and energy levels.
17. Starbucks will be a special treat. I won't over do it.

Here's the site. Check out Whole30 and decide if it's something you want to try.

Hahahaha, and please ignore my face in the photos above.

Nana, the Turtle

I went to visit a friend in another city this past week. It was a lot of fun. She has a great big apartment. I was a little jealous. But that isn't what I want to write about. It was a really joyous time. I loved getting to hear about her heart and share my own with her. It was really great to hear about the lessons she's learned here and what she hopes to take back with her. I felt like we talked about EVERYTHING. Like every possible topic. And even though I'm an introvert, I process externally. She just inspired me and refreshed me. I felt so encouraged through our time together. We found out we both had done the same summer program. And I think she went to school with the brother of another friend here. We talked about boys, decisions and guidance about the future, doubts and new found trust, friends, family, going home, language study, teaching, people we meet with, peace, praises, culture things, and crazy Asian things. Things we love and things not at the top of the love list. I think it's really rare that you meet a person and connect so quickly with them. It will be really fun/great to see her again in May. She also introduced me to some local noodles which were out of this world. SO GOOD. We also stopped by her favorite coffee shop. I loved it. It was fun to be shown her city by her. I'm kind of a mug collector and she helped me find one. It was just a really good time. Around 5 it was time for me to head home. It was refreshing and fun to travel alone on the way home. Some people might be leary of it. But I kind of like it. And I just feel proud and comfortable that I knew exactly where I was going and how to get there. The video has photos of her apartment, mine, noodles, the coffee shop, a local toilet (just in case you've never seen one), the bus, and a prank that was pulled on me. My national friends have always tried to punk me and others before. But they don't really know how. One idea they had come up with was putting a bag over someone's head. I think they just didn't know what to do, or where to draw the line. I think they had a little help this time. I got home around 1030. My apartment was kind of a mess. So, I cleaned stuff up and unpacked. Then I was getting ready for bed and noticed a note and a funny bag with pellets. I skimmed the note and then held my breath. I thought they had put something terrible in my bed. I throw back the blankets and...nothing. I read the note again. "...share the bathroom." Oh no!!! I go to the bathroom and expect a fish in my toilet. Nope. A turtle in my shower. Hahahahaha! I couldn't believe it. I thought it was dead at first. But it was very much alive. So, I called my crazy friends and congratulated them on punking me. All in all, this past holiday break was good.

Olympic Day (Part 1)

Who knew it was Olympic/Athlete Day on 08/08? Well, I have heard two different things. Today is the second Father's day. The number 8 in language sounds like father in the language. I also heard that today is the day that the Olympic Games opened in 2008. So, it's like "be fit" day. Little did I know what was in store...

I had a lazy morning but started my afternoon with lunch at one of my favorite restuarants. It's rice and veggies cooked in a clay pot. Yummy! Then I headed to my favorite coffee place to read a while. PAUSE-BREAK While in language tutoring this morning I said a little prayer about wanting to find someone to practice with. UNPAUSE I enjoyed my Blue Berry soda while reviewing memory verses and got a Iced Americano to go from the coffee shop. I walked across the street to the "Bakery Store." I wanted to buy some cream to ATTEMPT to make Mango Sorbet.

After finding exactly what I wanted, I went to the "register" to pay. And that's when the humbling began...I believe the cream cost 40 units and I had 38. I was so embarrassed. But because I go "often," the boss-lady was super nice and said it didn't matter. As I'm getting ready to go, I hear everyone talking about me in language, which is not uncommon. They are saying I'm a teacher at the university and I am American. All true. Then one of the customers asked me if I wanted to be her friend. I misunderstood, because I'm awesome like that, and thought she asked if I had a boyfriend. So, when I said I don't have, everyone burst into laughter. She smiled and repeated herself. Then I told her I could be her friend. The plan was she was going to help me with language and I was going to help her with English. Prayer Answered



So, we decided we would go have tea together. But first she had to go to somewhere to make something. I should've guessed what, we did meet in a bakery supply store. Then she told me we could go on her motorbike. It's more like a scooter, but I was super excited. Then it got even better. She had a helmet for me to borrow!!!! So, we hop on and scoot all the way across town. She is giggling the whole time and every time she speaks or I speak. This is really okay with me because that is how I feel about the whole situation. We arrive at her place of business. She bakes cakes. So, for about 2 hours I sit and watch her make cake things and ask about her family and life. It was super fun!!! I really loved it.



I have to tell her I have to go though because I'm supposed to watch a Latin dance performance with a friend. She walks me to the bus stop and she lets me know she really wants to meet again and practice English again. I tell her I would love to see her again. Maybe next week I'll make cookies and visit her.

*STAYED TUNED TO HEAR ABOUT THE LATIN PERFORMANCE*

Jin tian shi wode shengri!

(Today is my birthday!)

My day started with waking up at 7 am because that is the time my kids get up...Just kidding! But I feel like most people that I know that get up at 7 am do so because of their offspring. But really, I have an 8 o'clock Oral English class to teach.

I brush my hair and start the coffee maker. AND I excitedly heat up a chocolate chip banana muffin that my most loving roommate, Jessica, made for my birthday breakfast! I pick out what I want to wear and get ready while singing, "This is the day that the Lord has made," in my head. I eat a muffin and prepare my coffee for my 25 minute walk to class. Unfortunately, I spent too much time trying to straighten my hair so I slip on my Toms and head out the door. I listen to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on the way.

I happy and excited to teach. I want to tell all my students that it's my birthday. But I decide it's a little conseated to do so. Some times I chat with my students when I have them discuss a topic in groups, but I am currently reading Life from Scratch, by Melissa Ford. And it is quite exciting. So, selfishly I read instead of joining discussions.

For lunch I meet Jessica. Little did I know that she had a crazy activity in mind. She gives me a crown, shiny necklace and earrings and tells me I have to tell 24 people that it is my birthday and that I am 24 years old and would they please take a photo with me? in language. Oh, and a couple friends have joined us for lunch.

Then I had a little down time reading before dinner at 6. We all met at this Korean restaurant. None of us had eaten there before. But it was pretty good food, considering I had just been in Korean and eaten the real thing. Then some red velvet cake and a game of Peanut Butter and Jelly. Some people also know it as Kemps.

All in all, it was a pretty great day.

coffee

Coffee. I love coffee. Actually, I have come to realize I LOVE hot drinks. But coffee is better than tea. So, I have kind of "searched" the city for a place to nickname The Java Cat or the Granada.

This place is more Granada than Java Cat...
It has an English translation of the menu. Which is great because I don't know how to order coffee stuff in language yet. I can say hot and cold. But the workers know a little English and are really kind. The real name is Coffee & Talkers. Not Coffee Talkers. At first, I thought the & was a little weird. But I get it now, it's coffee and talkers. Coffee and people who talk. A classic mocha is my all time favorite.

Oh, I should tell you why I love coffee shops. Not only do I love to drink hot drinks, but I love the atmosphere of coffee shops. So cozy, inviting and relaxing. I have many fond memories in coffee shops; conversations of catching up, meeting old friends and new, Christmas parties, serious conversations, early meetings, late meetings and just a quiet place to read, think or study. So, I miss friends and family, but I miss those comfortable, familiar places too. But now, I think I've found my Granada... :)